“I’LL DO IT WHEN THE KIDS GROW UP”

Twenty years ago when I became a mother for the first time, I made a conscious decision to give up my career and be a stay at home mother. A decision I never regretted.

However, the various occasions, when asked what I ‘did’ and my only answer was to say “Oh! I’m just a housewife”, did make me question whether I was making the most of what I thought was my potential. I’ve often wondered why I used the word ‘just’. Was it because the world had me believe that in choosing to be a stay at home mum I had chosen the low road or did I truly feel that I had more in me that was yet to be discovered – so for now –  I was ‘just’ a house wife.

Was it because the world had me believe that in choosing to be a stay at home mum I had chosen the low road or did I truly feel that I had more in me that was yet to be discovered – so for now –  I was ‘just’ a house wife.

Not wanting to be the mother who did “nothing all day”, I got a law degree and went on to work as a lawyer. I took a break from law and restored several old homes, temporarily engaging with the designer in me. But each time I thought I should do more with my life – motherhood pulled me back.

“I’ll do it when the kids leave home”.

Outside these professional stints, I also took on the challenges of completing a 100 km walk for charity and climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, with my family. I recognise now that every time I took a step forward I did in fact became better for it – a better mother, a better wife, and as importantly, a more accomplished me.

When my youngest child started college I no longer had an excuse. The kids were in fact ready to leave home and here was my chance to do something more.  I hadn’t worked for a couple of years and had lost my confidence. I didn’t really know where to start and I was afraid to fail or be judged.  I kept thinking “now it’s too late to start over”.

But when I look back over the years I realise that every time I decided to do more, no matter how big or small (professional or otherwise), I had. What stands out as my biggest learning is that there is room in my life for everything I want – I just need to make the place for it.

Mamma Miya is my response to the voices that kept saying – “I’ll do it when the kids grow up”. My hope is that Mamma Miya will help me and every mum do a little bit more – every day.

Little more of what you say? Well I say “it can be anything you want it to be”.

What stands out as my biggest learning is that there is room in my life for everything I want – I just need to make the place for it.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *