What Does the Invisible Load Feel Like? 🏋️

Most of us can’t recall in vivid detail what our lives were like before we became moms. It’s almost like “another life”, as one mom told us.

From the time our kids entered our lives as tiny humans completely dependent on us, we looked after their needs – anticipating them, meeting them, dealing with their emotions when they didn’t get what they wanted, over and over and over.

It wasn’t like we weren’t doing any work before we became moms – we were busy enough.

Yet, motherhood can feel like the extra weight that toppled the cart simply because none of our other responsibilities – around work, family and home – reduced.

And more perplexing, no one else seems to realize that even for something as routine as deciding what to cook, there’s thinking, planning and decision making involved.

And we do this for everything. Grocery shopping, managing the kids’ social events, soccer practice and school needs, making sure everyone’s medical appointments are made and met, keeping the house clean .. this list doesn’t end.

When one item is done, it simply moves down the line to when it has to be done again, next time.  

So much of this remains unseen, unacknowledged and predominantly done by women. 

Some of us may not even know about this weight. You might feel that you’re doing your part for the family, just like everyone else. 

It could be because this work has been a part of us for so long, we don’t separate it from who we are. But we feel wiped out at the end of the day, only to have to wake up the following morning and start our daily chores, again, and we don’t know why. 

The more we speak about it, the more aware we become of the invisible load of motherhood. 

The more we discuss, the better we’ll get at managing it, and we’ll find more ways out of the perennial cycle of catch-up and exhaustion. 

The moms of MAMMA-MIYA told us that the Insights donut on the Home page made them aware of how much of their time and energy goes in this invisible load. 

The donut shows how much of our day goes in each of our Hats – Home, Family, Kids, Self-Care and so on. 

The Brain Dump feature was designed to lighten this mental load. Read here about how it helped moms.