“I WANT TO BE A GREAT MOTHER AND SO MUCH MORE”
When I became a mum for the first time I couldn’t comprehend how I could feel so fulfilled, and yet, so lost at the same time.
Before my first baby, I was living the life I had always dreamt of. I had a First Class Honours in Business Management and my career followed my heart as I travelled to over 25 countries, working in finance and then sports marketing. I married my high school sweetheart & our relationship felt like it got better every day. My life was filled with exciting experiences and diverse friendships. I was part of a supportive family that I was always able to be there for. I felt like I had all the time and freedom in the world – to travel, to exercise, to read, to just-chill, to learn and grow in any direction. I felt fulfilled.
Then, I became a mum. Motherhood! I could totally do this! – well that’s what I thought. Nothing prepared me for all those highs and lows to come. My baby brought me new levels of joy I didn’t even know possible, and kept me on my toes all day. But somewhere between the gummy smiles and toddler shenanigans, I was beginning to feel a strange void in my life.
Becoming a mother for the first time had no doubt brought a new, stronger sense of purpose to my life, but I felt like I was losing sight of parts of me – parts of the little girl with all her grand plans – parts of the adventurous woman with a map – parts of the relationships I really valued. And although I was constantly told to pour myself into this stage “because it all passes so quickly” and that I had the rest of my life “to do the things I wanted to” – this was not a choice I wanted to make.
I wanted to be a great mother AND so much more. But how could I? I felt like I just didn’t have the TIME!
“They had let go of the elusive concept of a perfect balance and replaced it with their own sense of rhythm – for each of the hats that they chose to wear.”
So, I looked around at the women I most respected to understand what they were doing differently. I realised they were carving out the time to attend to the thoughts & aspirations of the woman, the mother, the wife, the daughter, the friend, the entrepreneur, the change-maker within. They had let go of the elusive concept of a perfect balance and replaced it with their own sense of rhythm – for each of the hats that they chose to wear.
Once I started consciously incorporating this concept of these different hats, I began to find the mind-space to do so much more. By intentionally guarding my time and my family’s schedules, I found ways to fit in things that mattered to me, alongside everything else I needed to do to keep the hundreds of moving parts turning smoothly.
Fast forward 3 years and on these ideas, we had built and launched Mamma-Miya globally with the aim of spreading these “mom-learnings”. My toddler was growing into a wonderful little human who even understood that “mama needs alone-time for yoga”. I found more time for relationships that mattered, I began to play football, I attended courses that inspired me, I finally made meditation a daily habit…my life felt like it was back on-track. And then, I realised I was pregnant again.
But this time it was a much rougher journey. I no longer wanted to be around the people that used to bring me joy, the business that I’d poured my heart into was unravelling, none of the “hats” I had thoughtfully crafted for myself seemed to fit anymore. A few painful months later, I was diagnosed with something called “pre-natal depression” (that’s a story for another blog!).
Endless tears and heartbreak, supportive doctors and great psychiatrists, a few relentless relationships and a solid set of routines later, I had managed to come through that dark tunnel and even pulled off the VBAC I had hoped for. And now, I had the most magical, courageous, shining little baby to show for it all.
But I believe one of my biggest learnings through this journey was just how important it is to take care of the “WELL-BEING” of us, moms – physically, mentally, socially, psychologically, intellectually, financially, spiritually.
With this realisation, I finally returned to Mamma-Miya with a renewed energy and vision. I realised that I needed to do this for myself now – yes, it made me a better mom, but more importantly, a more fulfilled person. And equally for my daughters – so that someday, they too learn to fill themselves, from within.
Of course, the product like the ups and downs in my life, is a continuous work-in-progress, but I remain undeterred in my vision…
“I hope Mamma-Miya will help us navigate our days with more intention so we live more fulfilled lives.”