Good Things Take Time: Part 1 of 2

How MAMMA-MIYA Came to Be

Aash, the founder of MAMMA-MIYA, recalled that her early days as a young mother were a recalibration of her life in many ways. 

She remembers wondering: How did I go from being able to handle everything, fix anything to this struggling, frazzled mother constantly trying to catch up? What happened to that smart, capable and independent woman? 

“It’s just that we tend to treat pregnancy as the most common condition in the world – as ordinary as stubbing a toe – when the truth is, it’s like getting hit by a truck. Although obviously a truck causes less damage.” 

– from Lessons in Chemistry, by Bonnie Garmus 

When we became mothers, many of us went from having smooth, well-planned and executed days with clear priorities to a confused mix of days and nights and more questions than answers.

It was unsettling and frustrating.

You feel like you need more hands, more legs, more brains, more of an already exhausted and depleted you.

Namz, the co-founder, arrived at the same conclusion in her own way. She went back to work 3 months after her first child was born, and 2 months after her second child.

Productivity wise, she was knocking it out of the park. But, something still felt missing.

Between her job, managing the home and the logistics of everyone’s needs, she felt emotionally stretched. She wanted to be there for herself, for her partner and for her children.

Every mother would have connected with some parts of both these stories.

Over the next 2.5 years, Aash spoke to 100s of moms to piece together why, even after working till they were overwhelmed and exhausted, they still felt like they weren’t doing enough.

Many cakes, liters of coffee, glasses of wine and 1000s of hours of conversations later, one thing became clear:

Everyone was struggling to manage their time and mindspace and therefore, energy.

How do we own all our roles that are important to us, without burning ourselves out?

Many moms also felt that they were sacrificing too much of themselves while being a mother.

Motherhood plays a dominant role in many of our lives, and it’s natural for us to want to give as much as we can to our kids.

This giving of time, energy and effort, shouldn’t come at the cost of other things, but it does. 

Accepting this new normal, and being kind to ourselves about our limitations is the first step. 

Maybe that’s what Albert Einstein meant when he said, “Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” 

As mothers, we learned to be efficient. Having limited hours to work meant that we became more productive. Each of us have our own ways of keeping track of all that has to be done. 

The second step is to ask ourselves what else we want to do, what else is important to us. Once we decide what those are, we put them down, and show up for them. 

A therapy session, a heartfelt talk with another mother, or an inspirational article are all helpful. They have their place. 

But the foundation to the kind of life we want to live begins through small actions and changes, day after day. 

The third step is to move towards this goal, one step, one day at a time. 

MAMMA-MIYA took countless iterations, many stops and starts, and 7 years to build it to where it is today. 

Some days Aash and Namz are able to do the bare minimum – reply to emails, or upload an image on Instagram. Other days are frenetic, filled with meetings and possibilities. 

Both are okay, because we committed to it, and we showed up and did what we could. What matters is that we’re making time to do what’s important to us, and that we tried.